Soul Survivor: How a Broken Me was Put Back Together Again

Soul Fragmentation 

Have you ever felt like a part of you just went missing? In the spiritual community, we call this Soul Fragmentation or Soul Loss. It usually happens when we go through something deeply traumatic—like an accident, a violent event, a bad breakup, or long-term abuse. When the pain is too much to handle, a part of our essence "breaks off" to survive the shock. This leaves us feeling empty, powerless, and like we aren't "all there."

Common Signs You Might Be Experiencing This:

• Feeling detached or "numb" inside.

• A sudden loss of confidence or personal power.

• Deep depression or feeling like you’ve lost your purpose.

• Brain fog and trouble making simple decisions.

• A constant sense that something is missing from your soul.

My Story: When Work Became a Nightmare

In the summer of 2024, I was very close with my boss, Diega. We weren't just coworkers; we were friends. We shopped together, we went out to lunch together and I even helped with her kids by picking them up at school. As her "second-in-command," at work I did my best to support her and help her lead the team fairly.

Everything changed when I heard Diega use a racial slur to refer to an African American man. Later, she began using more offensive language toward our trans and non-binary coworkers. When I tried to talk to her about it as a friend—warning her that she should not say these things—she grew cold and distant.

Eventually, I realized things weren't going to change, so I filed a formal complaint with HR. That’s when my life turned into a battleground.

The Retaliation

Immediately after I reported her, a coworker accused me of assault. Even though security footage proved it never happened, I was put under investigation for a month. During that time:

• My hours were severely cut

• I was given the worst shifts.

• I was stripped of my leadership role.

• Diega told my coworkers to "freeze me out" and stop helping me.

• Management and the union ignored my pleas for help.

I felt completely alone. I fell into a deep depression and started thinking about ending my life. I even had a plan and a date set.

The Turning Point: A Dream of Safety

One rainy night in October, the power went out in my apartment. I sat in the dark, crying and praying to God because I didn't see a way out of my situation. Things were clearly not going to change and other jobs did not manifest.  I eventually fell asleep and had a vivid dream.

I was standing in a massive house where every room was a different church. I saw a little boy run inside, and I followed him. Inside one of the rooms, a pastor and two kind strangers - an older woman all dressed in white, and a young Latino man with large eyes - told me the boy was safe with them, but he wasn't ready to come back to me yet.

The next thing I recall was a bright flash of light, I immediately woke up, the power had come back on, and the light from my lamp was shining in my face. I realized that the little boy was a piece of my soul. He had run away because he didn't feel safe with me while I was being treated so poorly at work. To be whole again, I had to make myself a safe place for him to return to.

How I Put Myself Back Together

I decided right then to stop seeing myself as a victim. I began a "spiritual deep clean" to call my power back. Here is what worked for me:

• Cleansing my space: I scrubbed my floors and walls and used sage to clear out the heavy, negative energy in my home.

• Spiritual Baths: I used traditional herbal baths to cleanse myself and strengthen my aura which when clean and healthy acts as a natural shield against negativity. 
  

• Energy Work: I performed rituals to balance and align my chakras as well as to raise my vibrations. 

• Connecting with Ancestors: I spent time in prayer and meditation, asking for guidance from those who came before me.

• Inner Child Work: I spoke directly to that little boy from my dream. I apologized for not protecting him and promised that I would keep him safe if he came home.

The Final Healing

Finally, I had a second dream. I was on a flat, endless plain standing before a teepee with smoke rising from the top. An androgynous being came out to greet me. Over this being, I saw two overlapping circles of colored energy—like a Venn diagram. Where the circles overlapped, a bright golden light shone and from that light pure love emanated.  They invited me inside to sit by a fire. As they shook a rattle and danced around me, they threw herbs into the flames.

The being eventually took my hand and blew a smoky light into my palm. That light entered my body, and even in the dream, I felt "different." I woke up feeling whole for the first time in months. I woke up feeling completely different. The "void" inside me was gone. I felt whole.

Where I Am Now

Once I healed my internal state, my external world followed. I stopped focusing on getting revenge and started focusing on my own growth.

• My spells and prayers started working again because my energy was clear.

• I successfully transferred to a new department.

• I’ve since received four raises and made wonderful new friends.

I still see my old boss occasionally, but she no longer has any power over me. I am a survivor, and I am finally whole again.

Carolina Dean
Human Be-ing 

Crafting Your Roadmap: Why a Tarotscope is the Ultimate Tool for Intentional Living

Have you ever felt like you’re standing at a crossroads, wishing you had a cosmic compass to guide your next move? While we all know our sun signs, sometimes the general "horoscope" advice doesn't quite capture the specific nuances of our lives. That is where the Tarotscope comes in.

What is a Tarotscope?

A Tarotscope is a powerful type of tarot reading. Unlike a standard horoscope that looks primarily at planetary movements, a Tarotscope uses the cards to mirror your specific energy at any given time—identifying the "vibe" of your upcoming week, month, or even the entire year. It is designed to give you a "heads-up" on the challenges you might face, the strengths you can lean into, and the spiritual lessons your guides are nudging you toward.

Sample Reading: Navigating the Year of Dynamic Growth

To give you a taste of how a Tarot Reading with me can illuminate your path, here is a sample reading. The tarotscope begins with an affirmation based on the tarot spread to guide your thoughts and actions in the coming year. It can be written down and carried in your pocket or purse, placed on your altar for personal empowerment, or hung up in a conspicuous place where you will see it every day and absorb it into your subconscious.  

Your Affirmation:

"I embrace the dance of growth with a balanced heart. I am grounded in my new beginnings, patient in my process, and joyful in the company of my community."

The Five of Wands

This year is all about dynamic energy and healthy competition. The Five of Wands suggests a period where you’ll be juggling many ideas and perhaps facing some "creative friction." Don’t view this as a negative! This theme indicates that your best breakthroughs will come from brainstorming, defending your vision, and engaging with others. It’s a year to find your voice amidst the noise.

The Page of Pentacles

Interestingly, the "student" energy of the Page of Pentacles might hold you back if you aren't careful. This suggests that over-analyzing or staying in the "planning phase" too long could work against you. You might find yourself waiting for the "perfect" moment to start a project or getting bogged down in the minutiae of logistics. Be careful not to let the fear of being a "beginner" stop you from actually doing the work.

Temperance

Your secret weapon this year is Balance. While the world around you (the Five of Wands) may feel chaotic, Temperance is your internal anchor. The ability to stay moderate, practice patience, and blend opposing forces will be your greatest asset. When things get heated, your capacity to remain "the calm in the storm" will open doors that others can't see. Alchemy happens when you stay centered.

Three of Cups

The ultimate lesson from your guides this year is the importance of Community. You are not meant to do this alone. Your guides want you to learn that victory is sweeter when shared. They are teaching you to prioritize joy, celebration, and friendship. Even when you are busy building your empire, make time for the "cups" in your life—the people who refill your spirit and celebrate your wins alongside you.

Get Your Personalized Tarotscope

Are you ready to see what the cards have in store for your specific journey in 2026? A professional Tarotscope provides the clarity and confidence you need to move forward.

Carolina Dean
Tarot Reader to the Czars! 

Links:

• Purchase Your Personalized Tarot (12th House Books) 
• How to Write Affirmation with Tarot (Hoodoo Almanac 2025)

Review: Evil Intentions, Denise Osborne (2005)

In Evil Intentions, the fourth installment of her clever Feng Shui Mystery series, Denise Osborne proves once again why she is the reigning expert at blending ancient wisdom with modern-day suspense. While many cozy mysteries rely on simple tropes, Osborne elevates the genre by weaving the principles of Feng Shui into the very fabric of her plot, making it as intellectually stimulating as it is thrilling.

The Plot: High Stakes in Georgetown

The story centers on Salome Waterhouse, a Japanese-American Feng Shui practitioner whose life is momentarily thrown out of balance when an arsonist targets her Georgetown home. The stakes turn deadly when the body of a professional "organizer" is discovered—a woman whose life was dedicated to order, yet whose death is surrounded by chaos.

Salome, alongside an unlikely but charming team— including her ex-husband (a mystery writer) and a sharp-witted private investigator—is pulled into a dangerous investigation. What begins as a local tragedy soon uncovers a dark underworld involving human trafficking and a formidable nemesis from Salome’s past.

Why This Book Works

• Unique Protagonist: Salome Waterhouse is a refreshing lead. Her "New Age pragmatism" allows her to see clues through the lens of energy flow and spatial harmony, offering a perspective you won't find in your average police procedural.

• The "Eco-System" of Characters: The dynamic between Salome and her ex-husband adds a layer of warmth and humor that balances the darker themes of the mystery.

• Vivid Setting: Osborne captures the sweltering, high-pressure atmosphere of Washington D.C. perfectly, making the city feel like a character in its own right.

• Educational and Engaging: Even if you know nothing about Bagua maps or chi, Osborne weaves these details so seamlessly into the narrative that you'll feel like an expert by the final chapter.

Final Verdict

Evil Intentions is a "must-read" for fans of Nancy Pickard or Louise Penny. It’s a sophisticated, fast-paced mystery that reminds us that when our environment is in clutter, our lives often follow. Osborne’s writing is sharp, her pacing is excellent, and her ability to harmonize a gritty crime story with spiritual insight is truly impressive.

Carolina Dean

Shop Policies: Understanding Returns, Refunds, and Shipping

Greetings to my community of seekers and collectors. To ensure that I can continue providing rare occult texts and personalized spiritual insights, I want to clarify the "fine print" regarding your purchases.

Transparency is vital in our practice and knowing exactly how transactions are handled allows us to focus more on the magic and less on the logistics.

1. Spiritual Services & Digital Goods

Due to the personalized nature of my work and the immediate access provided by digital content, all sales are final for the following:

• Tarot & Astrological Readings: These sessions involve significant time, energy, and customized interpretation. Once booked or delivered, they are non-refundable.

• Digital Downloads: Because these files are delivered instantly upon purchase, I cannot offer refunds or exchanges on any digital guides or manuscripts.

2. Physical Items (Books, Amulets, & Talismans)

I understand that circumstances can change. My policy for physical goods depends entirely on where the item is in the fulfillment process:

• Before Shipping: If you request a cancellation or refund before I have dispatched your order, I will happily process a full refund.

• After Shipping: Once an item has been handed over to the courier, I can no longer offer a refund or accept a return. Please double-check your selection before finalizing your order.

Shipping, Loss, and Damage

Once an item leaves my shop and enters the postal system, it is officially in the hands of the carrier. While I take great care in packaging, please note the following:

• Arrival & Condition: I am not responsible for the arrival time or the condition of the item once it has shipped. Every order includes a tracking number, check this number for updates about your delivery. 

• Lost in Transit: If your package is stuck in transit, please contact your local post office directly.

• Damaged Items: If your item arrives damaged, you are covered! Please contact Etsy Support to initiate a refund through the Etsy Purchase Protection program.

• Missing "Delivered" Packages: If your tracking number marks the item as "Delivered" but you cannot find it, please reach out to your local post office or speak with your mail carrier.

A Note on Shipping Rates

Please be aware that shipping costs are set by the postal office based on current market rates and are not determined by the shop. To give you the most flexibility, I offer various shipping options at checkout, including Standard Shipping for economy and Priority Shipping for those who need their items more quickly. Please review these options and choose the one that best fits your budget and timeline.

Combined Shipping

If you are purchasing multiple items and would like to consolidate your shipping, I am happy to help. Please contact me directly with a list of the items you wish to purchase and your zip code. I will get back to you within 24 hours with a custom pricing quote for combined shipping to help you save on total costs. Please note that quotes are valid for 24 hours. 

Your Feedback & Experience

Your journey with these items is important to me, and I would be honored if you shared your experience by rating and reviewing your purchase. Your feedback helps other seekers find their way to this shop. However, if your experience was anything less than magical, I kindly ask that you contact me directly before leaving a negative review. I value your patronage and would appreciate the opportunity to personally address any issues or concerns to ensure you are satisfied with your experience.

In Closing

My goal is to connect you with the tools and insights you need for your path. These policies are in place to ensure that my shop remains sustainable and that every customer is treated with the same level of fairness. These policies will be updated and or modified as needed. Thank you for your patronage and for respecting the energy and effort that goes into every curated item and reading.

Carolina Dean
12th House Books 

Stirring the Cauldron of Regret: Why My Holiday Tradition Involves Three Witches and a Mid-Life Crisis

I’m a lover of books, but I’m rarely a "repeater." Once I’ve turned the final page, I usually set a story aside to make room for the next one. However, there is one glaring, magical exception to my rule: The Widows of Eastwick by John Updike.

Every year, as the calendar turns toward Thanksgiving and the Christmas lights begin to twinkle, I find myself pulling this specific volume off the shelf. It has become a ritual as essential to my holiday season as pumpkin pie or hanging a wreath.

Back to the Mansion 

For those who haven't met them, the book follows the three iconic witches from The Witches of Eastwick. Now widowed and having drifted apart over the years, Alexandria, Jane, and Suki decide to return to Eastwick for the summer.

But the world has changed. The grand Lenox Mansion where they once caused such a stir has been chopped up into modern condos. As they settle back into the town, they don't just reconnect with each other; they reconnect with their magic. This time, however, their power isn't about chaos—it’s about restitution. They use their craft to right past wrongs: Suki heals an old lover’s hand, and Alexandra helps a woman fulfill her dream of motherhood.

More Yesterdays than Tomorrows

Why do I keep coming back to this story? As I’ve gotten older, I’ve reached that vantage point where I realize I have more yesterdays than tomorrows. Updike captures the specific weight of that realization beautifully.

Identifying with these witches is easy when you’re navigating:

• The physical and emotional reality of aging.

• The quiet spaces left behind by lost loved ones.

• The inevitable shadow of our own mortality.

• The heavy, sometimes dusty, trunk of past regrets.

The Eastwick Audit

This annual read has birthed a tradition I call my personal "Eastwick Audit." I use the witches’ journey as a mirror to look back over my own year. I ask myself: What parts of myself have I lost touch with? What wrongs do I need to make right?

A few years ago, this reflection led me to a difficult realization. I had ended a friendship with a woman because I thought she was being unfairly negative about a mutual friend. I assumed she was just jealous and cut her off entirely.

But as time passed, I saw with my own eyes that every warning she gave me was true. My "magic" that year wasn't supernatural; it was the simple, humbling act of reaching out, apologizing, and making amends.

Conclusion

Ultimately, The Widows of Eastwick reminds me that while we cannot turn back the clock, we are never too old to transform our perspective. We don't need a literal cauldron to stir up a little grace or to heal a relationship that we severed in a moment of poor judgment. As the year draws to a close, I’ve realized that the most powerful magic we possess isn't the ability to change the past, but the courage to face it, learn from it, and walk into our remaining tomorrows with a lighter heart and a clearer conscience.

Carolina Dean 
Old-Fart 

Links 

• The Witches of Eastwick, John Updike 
• The Widow of Eastwick, John Updike 

Iridology: The Eyes Have It!

Some people believe your eye is more than just a "window to the soul"—they think it's also a map of your health. This belief is called Iridology.

The Big Idea

Iridology is an alternative method where practitioners (called iridologists) study the colored part of your eye, the iris. They look closely at the iris's:

• Colors and Spots (Pigmentation)

• Lines and Folds (Structural Markings)

• Texture (Fiber Density)

They use detailed charts that divide the iris into zones, with each zone supposedly linked to a different organ or body part (like your liver or kidneys). By looking at the markings in these zones, they claim they can spot if a body part is strong, weak, inflamed, or toxic, and even suggest potential future health problems.

Iridology is non-invasive, meaning they only look at your eye, often with a magnifying glass or a camera.

Does Science Agree? (The Crucial Part)

The short answer is No.

The mainstream scientific and medical community considers Iridology a pseudoscience (meaning it looks like science but isn't based on evidence).

• It Doesn't Work: Many serious, controlled studies (like double-blind trials) have tried to test Iridology. The result is consistently that iridologists cannot accurately diagnose specific diseases (like cancer or kidney trouble) any better than random chance.

• The Eye Doesn't Change: Scientists who use iris scans for security (like biometrics) know that the iris structure is one of the most stable and unchanging features of the human body throughout your life. If the eye structure stays the same, it can't show a disease that is actively getting better or worse.

• The Danger of Misdiagnosis: The biggest risk is not the practice itself, but what happens afterward. If an iridologist tells you have a serious disease when you don't (false positive), it causes unnecessary stress. More seriously, if they tell you you're healthy when you have a serious condition (false negative), you might delay getting proper medical treatment, which could be dangerous.

The Bottom Line

Iridology is an old and interesting idea popular in some alternative wellness circles. However, it is not a proven diagnostic tool.

If you are worried about your health or have symptoms, you must see a licensed medical doctor or eye doctor for tests and treatments that are proven to work. Alternative assessments like Iridology should never replace professional, evidence-based medical care.

Carolina Dean 
Eye-See-You 

Links:

• The Science and Practice of Iridology, Bernard Jensen (12th House Books) 
  
• Iridology (Wikipedia) 

It's a Wonderful Life (Because It's Mine)

The city was alive with Christmas lights, glowing windows, and laughter spilling onto the streets. But for the boy huddled beneath a torn blanket on a rooftop, the season was nothing but a cruel reminder of what he lacked. His stomach ached, his fingers were numb, and every carol drifting upward from the sidewalks below felt like a taunt.

On Christmas Eve, as he drifted into uneasy sleep, a clatter jolted him awake. He rubbed his eyes and froze. A sleigh—red, gleaming, impossibly real—rested on the rooftop. Reindeer pawed at the tar, their breath steaming in the cold. And there, climbing down into the apartment chimney, was Santa Claus himself.

The boy’s heart pounded. He waited, trembling, until Santa returned. Desperation spilled from him in a rush: “Please… take me with you. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to come home with you.”

Santa studied him with unreadable eyes, then nodded. “Climb aboard.”

The sleigh lifted into the night sky, carrying the boy northward through clouds and stars. He imagined warmth, food, safety—everything he had been denied. But when they landed at the North Pole, the dream soured.

Santa’s voice was stern now. “You’ll earn your keep.”

The boy was led to the stables. Days blurred into endless labor: hauling hay, scrubbing stalls, feeding restless reindeer. His hands cracked from the cold, his body ached, and his meals were little more than thin soup. The elves ignored him, whispering as they passed. The boy realized he had traded one misery for another, only this time there was no escape. Beyond the compound stretched a frozen wasteland that promised death to anyone who wandered too far.

One night, exhausted and hopeless, he collapsed into sleep on the straw, tears freezing on his cheeks. When he opened his eyes, the rooftop sky stretched above him once more. The sleigh was gone. The reindeer, the stables, the cold soup—all of it had been a dream. He was back in New York, still hungry, still cold, but alive.

For the first time, he felt something different: gratitude. His life was hard, but it was his. He could change it. He could fight for something better. The boy pulled his blanket tighter, watching the city lights flicker like stars. Somewhere deep inside, a spark of determination warmed him more than any fire.

Carolina Dean